Confession Of An Introvert
The Curse of the Silent “Backend” Warrior
Boss/ Teacher/ Instructor says: “Who wants to present this project report? Whoever volunteers to present, help promote the company or take one for the team shall be handsomely rewarded! (as it should be)”.
At this juncture, I started scouring my entire self to find an ounce of courage to lift my arm. My hand was trembling as it began its uncertain ascent, while fear was coursing through my veins. My mouth went dry with my lips apart, but no words came out.
The silence in the room wasn’t helping at all as it amplified the thumping of my heart, like hooves of galloping wild horses impacting the barren ground.
Just then, a resounding “Sure, I’ll do it Boss/ “Cher”/ Sir/ Ma’am.” shattered the silence and, simultaneously, my hand beat a retreat. It was Wayne. The jaunty yet admittedly admirable “extrovert” of the class/ department/ team, with his proverbial aplomb and charisma, gave a quick scan to the boardroom before turning to our boss and replied, “Erm, I may not know the full facts of the projects just yet, but I’ll study it thoroughly and rehearse the presentation adequately and, erm, definitely help to secure a strong positive impression for the company/ team!”.
His fist was clenched, signalling his drive and gumption. The eyes of our boss glittered as he levelled a wide grin at all of us and blared, “That’s what I’m looking for! Do us proud Wayne, I knew I could always count on you!”.
My fists were clenched too. However, it was to signal my regret and frustration. “I did most of the report! I already know the full facts of the report, I know better! I should be the one to be depended on!”.
Then, the moment came…I cursed under my breath, “It’s okay…I’ll just do the backend.”.
Okay, let’s STOP RIGHT HERE.
If you’ve never ever done what I did above, no worries, you may stop reading and leave this page. I’m talking to my fellow introverts here. But WAIT! My fellow introverts, if you think this is a therapeutic article to make you feel better and furnish you with a kumbaya-let’s-hug feeling, you will be sorely mistaken!
STOP hiding behind the self-deluding comforter – “It’s okay…I’ll just do the backend.”.
I, having done the same thing for the past 20 odd years, can guarantee that you’re fooling no one. Only yourself.
We may be introverts, but we are unabashedly ambitious deep down. We want to have a following, we want to lead, and we want to be looked up to. We may say that we want to do the backend, churn out the reports and be that elusive yet highly vaunted “brains” behind the scenes. However, at the same time, we want to be leading that constellation of backend geniuses and be the manager/ head of the research department.
Now that’s where the irony or contradiction lies. You can’t be Mr/Ms. Just-Do-The-Backend if you desire to lead or manage others. The reason for the chasm in between those two?
Effective Communication Skills.
In order to:
- lead,
- inspire change when the organization needs to restructure,
- give a clarion & persuasive call to rally your subordinates around your cause,
- imbue the motivation in them to sustain productivity,
we NEED effective communication skills. Public Speaking skills are no longer good-to-have; with the growing presence of Artificial Intelligence and automation, Public Speaking skills are going to become sine qua nons for the future workplace if you want to remain relevant and competitive.
The awareness of the importance of public speaking skills (and by public speaking skills, I mean the entire umbrella that encompasses the full gamut of communication skills ranging from non-verbal to vocal variety, managing stage anxiety to the art of persuasion etc.) only hit me when I was in my mid-twenties when I was in University.
The far-reaching negative impacts are:
- lots of missed opportunities when growing up – getting disregarded or neglected for leadership opportunities in school, being invisible in class, etc.
- negative reinforcements being self-fed to myself and it will progressive calcify – “I’m an introvert. I’ll just do the backend. Presenting is not my thing.”
- impairment of self-esteem
I’m not trying to demoralize you, my fellow introverts. I’m just giving you a realistic and clear-eyed appraisal of the situation through the lenses of someone who has identified himself as a shy, diffident introvert for 20 odd years.
There may be a multitude of reasons why we eschew the chance to present in front of a crowd – fear of judgement from the audience:
“Why is he/her voice so weird or laughable?”,
“Why am I wasting my time with this ugly toad?”,
“Boring! Wasting everyone’s time only!”,
“Oh my god, he/she just tripped over his/her words, fluffed his/her lines! Lol, what a joke!”,
“He/She just cleared his/her throat with a huge blob of saliva in the middle of the speech! He/She must be nervous as hell! Look at the sweaty palms, look at the drenched underarm area of the shirt! Listen to the pause fillers, what a joke!”,
“Listen to his/her accent, what a joke!”.
Every public speaking expert started as a beginner. I repeat. Every public speaking expert started as a beginner.
It is always Nurture Over Nature. This is a core tenet that Public Speaking Academy espouses. Be it kids or adult learners, Public Speaking Academy strives to enhance its students’ abilities to present, persuade and influence with flair and confidence through tried and tested techniques. Tried & tested is not just a marketing gimmick; Public Speaking Academy’s team of public speaking practitioners, including the World Champion of Public Speaking himself Darren Tay, pooled their expertise and know-how to design a unique set of syllabi that guides students systematically in their acquisition of effective communication skills.
Check Out PSA’s Trainers HERE: https://publicspeakingacademy.com.sg/senior-trainers-trainers/
Public Speaking Academy teaches actionable techniques and strategies in terms of body language, vocal variety, linguistics, story-crafting and storytelling, audience engagement and even interview skills. One example would be in the realm of storytelling:
- Storytelling Tip #1: This precedes the actual crafting of the story – Have Your Very Own Story Bank!
With the presence of smartphones being so ubiquitous and prevalent, you don’t have to lug around a bulky book to document all your personal anecdotes, everything can be stored in your phone everywhere you go! Document interesting stories that you encounter in your daily interactions – an argument, an embarrassing social faux pas, a passing remark from your colleague, neighbour, or an impactful story from an expert authority which allows you to adapt to your own experiences to make it your own, so on and so forth! With a cache of such anecdotes at your disposal, whenever you are tasked to craft an engaging high-stakes presentation, you will be well-prepared to craft one!
Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/dJjadzsnjvA
- Storytelling Tip #2: Sign-posting to prime your audience
Priming your audience, contrary to some beliefs that it might “ruin the surprise”, actually heightens your target audience’s senses, stimulates the brain and arrests their attention because the smarter your audience members are, they want their guesses to be right. When you’re telling your story, subtly inserting sign-posting phrases will prepare your audience for what’s to come:
For example, when you’re building up the complications of the story, you can say, “Look, this is where it gets interesting…” or “Listen, I’m about to go head-on with a cascading set of obstacles…”.
For example, when you’re nearing the climax of your story, you can say, “Ladies & gentlemen, this is the make-or-break point…” or “Look, this is tipping point…”.
Speaking eloquently and confidently is not something you can achieve just by having someone telling you “No fear, don’t be afraid.” – we introverts know that, hear that regularly, acknowledge that and drown in that deluge of self-talk whenever we have to present or public speak or even in interpersonal settings.
What we need are 1) actionable, tried & tested techniques at our fingertips to apply in our delivery (sometimes to fall back on when our minds go blank) and 2) nurturing exposure & environment, experience, and insightful evaluations from competent and high-quality trainers (people who have actually been there and done that) to guide us towards the jettisoning the deep-seated fears and insecurities towards public speaking.
Public Speaking Academy does just that. Not having the confidence to speak up doesn’t have to be immutable for your entire life. You can do something about it.
Sure thing, there will be a promotion call at the end of this confession (see what I did there – hint* priming :D). What you might be misunderstanding is that we don’t oblige our readers to allow us to be part of their transformational journey. You may join other programs out there. Look, the point is this, you HAVE to start, and you have to start NOW…
…
…because…
…
…now that I’ve yanked the “It’s okay, I’ll just do the backend” comforter off you…what else can you hide behind now? 😉
For more about Public Speaking Courses for Kids/ Children:
https://publicspeakingacademy.com.sg/group-classes-students-age-9-18/
For more about Public Speaking Courses for Adults:
https://publicspeakingacademy.com.sg/courses-and-programs/group-classes-for-adults/