Can I Use Public Speaking Skills to Make Friends? Bringing the Stage to the Social Settings

Mention “public speaking,” and the main thing that will pop in your mind is a presentation before a large audience. In our training, however, we often emphasise the applicability of public speaking/communication skills to settings beyond the traditional speech. The speaking stage is more than just a large room with hundreds in the audience. A conversation between strangers may also be an appropriate avenue for applying public speaking skills!

To unpack the question, we need to understand that public speaking techniques are often undergirded by skills that apply in other settings. For example, non-verbal communication or body language is likewise applied in other communication settings such as interpersonal communication or negotiation. From this angle, public speaking is but one context in which the techniques can be applied.

If you are wondering if these techniques can be applied to make a new friend, read on to find out more about the versatile skill!

Body Language Focus

Body language elements commonly form part of the foundational content in our public speaking programmes. From stage positioning to eye contact, our learners unpack how best to garner attention on the speaking stage and influence the audience. As with speech genres and objectives, the combination of body language elements may change depending on the purpose being fulfilled (e.g., informative/persuasive).

If we take the starting point that ‘making friends’ is one communication setting, we can explore the best combination of body language elements to achieve the same objective. For a start, we want to apply open, confident body language elements that create a welcoming environment. This can be in the form of energetic hand gestures (with palms facing the listener), dedicated eye contact, and a focused posture (i.e., face, chin, body angle facing the other person). This is a positive starting point to show interest in your conversation partner.

Managing the Vocal Variety

A complementary technique to body language elements is your vocal variety profile. When giving a speech or presentation, the voice is a messenger of your emotion and intent. By combining the elements of pace, power, pitch, and pauses, experienced speakers can create tension, draw their audience in, and even make them laugh! The same can also be applied to a social setting – your voice may be the gateway to making new friends.

For a start, clarity is the name of the game – a lower volume may give the impression of mumbling/poor articulation. This may indicate a lack of interest compared to someone with a consistently audible and confident voice. However, one important aspect in this setting is the use of pauses. While pauses on the speaking stage serve various functions, it acts as a ‘listening signal’ to the other person. Take meaningful pauses to show your conversation partner that you are actively listening and acknowledging their points!

Clarity in Structure

While the techniques to apply will ultimately depend on the social context, one core area that may feature consistently is the structure of your interaction. In the context of speeches, structure concerns the arrangement of your content (e.g., introduction, main body, conclusion). A similar approach can be applied to communication structure in a social setting by keeping an eye on how we manage our conversation topics.

We can divide a general conversation/social setting into phases. The first phase is introductory – the conversation here will be broad and surface in nature and is often an opportunity to find common ground. You can start with open-ended questions and acknowledgement as the other party shares. The next phase is bridging. As the conversation thrives, the focus shifts to a deeper interaction, with higher-order questions (i.e., the how/why) and personal sharing. Humour is also a frequent elementin this phase to show comfort between the parties. The final phase is commitment. A conversation does not stop at the first – both parties can aim to build the interaction beyond the initial communication setting.

While this is a general guide, you can think about how you can adapt the structure for new settings!

Make That New Friend!

Making a new friend is not a straightforward task – the interaction is often fluid, and effort is required to ensure a fruitful interaction. If you find such communication settings challenging, you can try our adaptation of public speaking techniques to bring your networking skills to the next level!

WATCH for additional speaking/ communication tips: “How To Inject Humour In A Speech Without Being Like A Comedian | Public Speaking Tips”

If you are keen to take your public speaking skills & presentation skills (either business/corporate presentation / kids in-class presentation) to the next level so that you may communicate and deliver speeches with greater flair and charisma, feel free to check out our public speaking/ presentation skills course for adults and public speaking course for children below!

We want to help you bring out the best in your team, organization, and company. Public speaking and communication skills for the workplace, such as persuasion, remain a priority for most corporate training out there. We believe in staying ahead of the curve in sharing the contemporary communication skills to help you and your team remain relevant, competitive and nimble. Through our customized corporate training programmes, your team will benefit from an in-depth, hands-on, and potential-maximising public speaking & presentation skills training programme!

Feel free to reach out to us to curate your own public speaking corporate training programme for your team, company, or organization! Let us help you develop them into highly effective public speakers at work, empowered with effective presentation skills & storytelling skills – them giving speeches with charisma, influence and impact is something you can look forward to!